The Evangelical Visitor was the denominational paper for the Brethren in Christ from 1887 to 2003. Issues included denominational news; marriage, death, and birth announcements; thoughtful reflections on life in Christ; and occasionally even satire!

In the February 1923 issue of the Visitor, a short, humorous article entitled “Rules for Killing a Church” appeared on the second page. Now, 100 years later, the “advice” given in the article is still applicable today.

Rules for Killing a Church

We do not presume that any one is trying to do such a thing, but if so, you will find that it will not take all of these rules to do it:

  1. Don’t come. Psa. 42:4; 96:8; 100:4.
  2. If you do come, come late. Psa. 84:10.
  3. If too wet or too dry, too hot or too cold, don’t think of coming. Psa. 122:1.
  4. Don’t imagine the front seats are for you. People might think you conceited.
  5. Come bound to find fault. Psa. 100:4-5.
  6. Don’t ever think of praying for your pastor or the church. Eph. 6:18-19; 2 Thess. 3:1.
  7. Don’t sing. Psa. 95:1-2; 1 Cor. 14:15.
  8. Don’t attend week day services. Acts 3:1; 2:1.
  9. Don’t encourage the pastor, but tell his faults to others. Gal. 6:1. If his sermon helps you, don’t let him know, it might make him vain.
  10. If you see a stranger in the audience don’t offer to shake hands, or ask him to come again; people might think you bold. Heb. 13:2.
  11. Never try to bring any one to church with you. John 1:41, 45; 12:20-21.
  12. Don’t give to missions. Matt. 28:19-20.
  13. Don’t give much to benevolence. 1 Cor. 16:2.
  14. Let the pastor do all the work. Isa. 41:6-7.
  15. Keep his salary always behind. 1 Cor. 9:14.
  16. If he does not visit as often as you think he should, treat him coolly. 1 Thess. 5:12-13.
  17. Don’t take your church paper.
  18. Try to run the church. Mark 10:42, 45.
  19. If you see any one willing to take hold and help carry on any of the church work, accuse him of being bold and forward. 2 Chron. 31:20-21; Eccl. 9:10.

Find the original article in Evangelical Visitor – February 05, 1923 Vol. XXXVI. No. 669.

BIC U.S. Communications
Posted by the BIC U.S. Communications team.

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