The Evangelical Visitor was the denominational paper for the Brethren in Christ from 1887 to 2003. Issues included denominational news; marriage, death, and birth announcements; thoughtful reflections on life in Christ; and occasionally even satire!
In the February 1923 issue of the Visitor, a short, humorous article entitled “Rules for Killing a Church” appeared on the second page. Now, 100 years later, the “advice” given in the article is still applicable today.
Rules for Killing a Church
We do not presume that any one is trying to do such a thing, but if so, you will find that it will not take all of these rules to do it:
- Don’t come. Psa. 42:4; 96:8; 100:4.
- If you do come, come late. Psa. 84:10.
- If too wet or too dry, too hot or too cold, don’t think of coming. Psa. 122:1.
- Don’t imagine the front seats are for you. People might think you conceited.
- Come bound to find fault. Psa. 100:4-5.
- Don’t ever think of praying for your pastor or the church. Eph. 6:18-19; 2 Thess. 3:1.
- Don’t sing. Psa. 95:1-2; 1 Cor. 14:15.
- Don’t attend week day services. Acts 3:1; 2:1.
- Don’t encourage the pastor, but tell his faults to others. Gal. 6:1. If his sermon helps you, don’t let him know, it might make him vain.
- If you see a stranger in the audience don’t offer to shake hands, or ask him to come again; people might think you bold. Heb. 13:2.
- Never try to bring any one to church with you. John 1:41, 45; 12:20-21.
- Don’t give to missions. Matt. 28:19-20.
- Don’t give much to benevolence. 1 Cor. 16:2.
- Let the pastor do all the work. Isa. 41:6-7.
- Keep his salary always behind. 1 Cor. 9:14.
- If he does not visit as often as you think he should, treat him coolly. 1 Thess. 5:12-13.
- Don’t take your church paper.
- Try to run the church. Mark 10:42, 45.
- If you see any one willing to take hold and help carry on any of the church work, accuse him of being bold and forward. 2 Chron. 31:20-21; Eccl. 9:10.
Find the original article in Evangelical Visitor – February 05, 1923 Vol. XXXVI. No. 669.